Just wrote the bulk of a new song. I really need to start performing on piano AND guitar. I have so many songs I really love on piano, but dread lugging that keyboard around. It's probably worth it though.

Is feeling a smidgen of inspiration. Writing the final part to a newer song. Being reminded of the power of the 4 minor chord at the right place and the right time.

If only the lyrics would be so easy....

Barren Wasteland

I don't have much to say. I haven't written anything in weeks. I am dissatisfied with everything I come up with. It all sounds predictable. Or boring. I want to branch out. I want to express the depth of my feelings, but even those feelings are compromised by a life of endless monotony.

On the other hand, I am terrified of passion's potential. I also terrified of being delusional with self importance.

I feel as though I'm falling through the cracks.

This is depressing drivel.

My mind is constantly filled with songs. "Time After Time", "I'll See You in My Dreams", "After You've Gone", "Black Crow", and more and more and more.

I am currently playing with a new band that is writing songs as we go along. For the most part we fine tune songs that the guitar player/vocalist writes, but it is very collaborative. Songs change quite a bit through the process.

I am trying to hold to his vision for the music, which isn't hard because I generally like what he's bringing to the table. It is a new method for me though. I have spent so many years (since I started writing my own music at 12) being secluded from the rest of the world as I put together ideas. I think the process of filtering ideas through 4 people's heads has it's ups and downs. I see the many avenues the songs can take. I think the songs can lose their purity, so to speak, but they gain a new quality (communal energy?) that can only be found through collaboration.

For now I see it as a great opportunity for personal growth. I am exercising many muscles: my ear as I pick up what I hear, and my mind as I think about what my part should sound like to compliment the other parts, the notes, the beats, etc.

In addition to all this, it's a weight off my shoulders. I am not solely responsible for carrying the songs. These are not my lyrics, this is not MY soul being exposed. These are not MY ideas to be critiqued.

So far it's turning out to be a great experience. Now, if I can only find time for my Beatles cover band, accompanying an Irish American folk singer, and last but NOT least my own music...