I am terrified of losing my anonymity. I like hiding in this place where I am free from judgement. How do I reconcile my desire to perform with my inability to be in front of the lense. I resort to awkwardness and out of place jokes. I'm sorry, I'm actually very passionate and serious about my art, but (from past experience) I am afraid to let that show.
Can't I just hide behind the sound?
I wish the answer was yes. I don't understand why it isn't. It seems strange to me, how the transaction seems to work for other people. All of the people whose music I love - I don't want to dig into them and pry their lives open to my inspection. I don't want to get next to them and have them recognize me. I just want to let them breathe and live their lives, and keep focused on making music.
ReplyDeleteBut so many people - fans, they call themselves - seem to have a voracious appetite less for the work and the art, and more for the person and persons behind it.
To me that's an insult to the whole purpose of making art - and an insult to the real fans, who are greedy for more great music, not needy for personal interaction, devouring attention that could be better spent on all of us who love what you do - rather than the tiny rabid few who see it all as all for them.
Anyway, Rachel - if you get famous I promise I won't haunt the side venue exit waiting for a hand-signed keepsake. But I will come to the show!
Hang in and never give in.