It's the endless debate: is music art or entertainment...or both? Or neither? If yours is simply entertainment does it negate mine as art? Why is so much of music that is art ignored or shunned by society? Why doe people prefer to listen to something that is 'fun' or 'light hearted' or 'a neat story'? I suppose it has it's place, but why do we lump it all together and pit one against the other?
To me it is a bit like comparing crafts to painting. I knit, and even if I'm damn good at it I will never think it is somehow equal to an oil painting carefully crafted by someone who has studied and made art their life's work.
I am always hiding these feelings because it seems to offend everyone I meet. I am labeled an elitist. So wanting to KNOW WHAT I'M DOING and excel at it makes me an elitist? I also want to like what I hear and often times music is not 'fun' for me to listen to because it is flat and predictable. Is this my lack? Sometimes I think it is. How can I hold true to these feelings and thoughts when everywhere I turn I am a told I'm wrong for feeling this way?
I have so much self doubt. I am not lacking 'confidence' and I am not 'jealous' but I am frustrated and have little hope. I like the music I am making, I am for the most part satisfied with my own skills. I have worked very hard at what I love. Now what in the world do I do with it?
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