This morning as I was driving home from somewhere I was thinking about what is truly revealed through art. Is it a deeper truth? Or is it simply a way for us to convince ourselves (and others) that we ARE our ideals? I was thinking about the movie Paris Blues. In the movie characters fall in love at the drop of a hat. They are tumultuously trying to decide if they want love, aka:settling down, or art. The woman wants the man, the man wants his music, etc. etc. There were many things that didn't jive for me in this movie. First of all, is this really someones artistic representation of life? Is this their reality or their fantasy? If it is only fantasy is it truly art? Is it truly exposing something more about life we previously didn't know? To me it was just hollywood's attempt at cashing in on the jazz scene, and throwing some sloppy love stories in 'for the ladies'. But maybe they thought they were making a masterpiece.

In my songwriting am I writing my perceived truths or my selfish ideals? I wholeheartedly accept that my version of things is just that, my version of things. But I do believe I am using art as a means to find out more about what's going on in my life. It is the means, not the goal.

I have eeked out a few minutes here and there to work on music. Unfortunately, my 'music muscles' are out of shape and it took me 30 minutes just to warm up. I have some half finished songs, but what I think I need to do is start fresh. New songs for new times. It is almost impossible for me to believe, but the most recent song I've started is a song about hope, about believing in myself. Let's see where it takes me.